To everyone that has supported me over the last year, I thank you and to those that are new to my ideas and ramblings, welcome!
For anyone engaged over the Christmas and New Year period don't forget to tune in and comment as you see fit, I offer my opinions in good faith. I look forward to helping you plan your wedding.
Don't forget if you need more advice check out my website: http://www.weddingsbyelaine.co.uk/ or email me on: info@weddingsbyelaine.co.uk.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Friday, 25 December 2009
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you all, hope you all have a wonderful day - especially anyone that's chosen to get married today!
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Check your suppliers
So, heard about the one where the photographer charged but didn’t deliver…or did but may as well not have?! Most have you have probably read the story and if not you’ve definitely heard about it…here’s a recap from the Daily Mail:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218248/Newlyweds-win-court-battle-1-500-wedding-photographer-shoddy-pictures-include-missing-heads-car-close-ups.html
You’re probably thinking…
”that would never happen to me”,
or “how could they have fallen for it”
or “it must have been so obvious he wasn’t any good”
But, is it obvious, how do you know, what can you do to prevent it?
I hear stories all the time about couples who meet suppliers assuming they have hired the person they saw, only to find on the day a complete stranger turns up to photograph/video/document their day. Obviously at this point it’s too late to do anything. This isn’t uncommon and if you check your contract you’ll probably find that in the small print (I know it’s always the small print) it will explicitly say that the supplier has the right to do this.
So, how do you avoid these things, and how can you guarantee the person you see if the person who will attend? Ask them! I know it sounds simple, but again it goes back to one of my earlier posts people are afraid to negotiate and ask for what they want. You MUST get out of the habit of assuming what you want to hear. It doesn’t work like that and unfortunately it will add to the sense of stress and out of control-ness on the day of your wedding.
When you meet your supplier, ask to see examples of previous works, your supplier expects this, it isn’t rude! Where relevant ask them about qualifications they have in their field of work. Ask to speak to someone that has worked with them before, or to see testimonials from previous couples. Ask if they are the person who will turn up on the day or if they work as part of a conglomerate. There’s nothing wrong with a conglomerate operating company, just make sure you make an appointment to see the actual supplier who will be attending on your day and make sure you are happy with them and their work.
Don’t hand over ANY money until you are satisfied you like the suppliers work, you get along with them and you understand their terms of business.
It sounds like a lot to remember but, asking these few questions early on mean you won’t have to worry or stress on the day of your wedding because something has happened you didn’t expect.
It’s not a joke, there’s no punch line. This is a gentle reminder to check your suppliers. You don’t want to be the next Mr & Mrs Day.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218248/Newlyweds-win-court-battle-1-500-wedding-photographer-shoddy-pictures-include-missing-heads-car-close-ups.html
You’re probably thinking…
”that would never happen to me”,
or “how could they have fallen for it”
or “it must have been so obvious he wasn’t any good”
But, is it obvious, how do you know, what can you do to prevent it?
I hear stories all the time about couples who meet suppliers assuming they have hired the person they saw, only to find on the day a complete stranger turns up to photograph/video/document their day. Obviously at this point it’s too late to do anything. This isn’t uncommon and if you check your contract you’ll probably find that in the small print (I know it’s always the small print) it will explicitly say that the supplier has the right to do this.
So, how do you avoid these things, and how can you guarantee the person you see if the person who will attend? Ask them! I know it sounds simple, but again it goes back to one of my earlier posts people are afraid to negotiate and ask for what they want. You MUST get out of the habit of assuming what you want to hear. It doesn’t work like that and unfortunately it will add to the sense of stress and out of control-ness on the day of your wedding.
When you meet your supplier, ask to see examples of previous works, your supplier expects this, it isn’t rude! Where relevant ask them about qualifications they have in their field of work. Ask to speak to someone that has worked with them before, or to see testimonials from previous couples. Ask if they are the person who will turn up on the day or if they work as part of a conglomerate. There’s nothing wrong with a conglomerate operating company, just make sure you make an appointment to see the actual supplier who will be attending on your day and make sure you are happy with them and their work.
Don’t hand over ANY money until you are satisfied you like the suppliers work, you get along with them and you understand their terms of business.
It sounds like a lot to remember but, asking these few questions early on mean you won’t have to worry or stress on the day of your wedding because something has happened you didn’t expect.
It’s not a joke, there’s no punch line. This is a gentle reminder to check your suppliers. You don’t want to be the next Mr & Mrs Day.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Don’t Tell the Bride?
So, I LOVE the programme, ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’, it’s my guilty pleasure (as well as Bon Jovi, but that’s for another time and place) and I think there are a few others like me that feel the same. However I got to thinking, why? Is it because I’m safe in the knowledge that I’ve had my wedding day which I had huge amounts of input in so won’t ever be in that situation; or is it because the ultimate message this programme gives is that – it doesn’t matter how it happens, the couple just want to be together and married?
Despite all the fears and anxiety portrayed by the bride, (and yes ladies, it is mostly the bride stressing and weeping) ultimately I have yet to watch an episode where the couple don’t get married. Even with the dubious choices the groom has made, (anyone see Luke theme his wedding on his favourite football team, or Nick choose for his bride her worst night mare, princess Jordan-esque style dress?) the bride always appreciates some of what the groom has gone through to organise the wedding – I won’t go so far as to say they love all of what they have chosen!
Obviously this is for TV, and the sceptic in me says at least parts of it has to have been staged – I love my husband, but if he’d had to organise the whole wedding I’m not sure the finer details would have been high on his list of priorities – but the less sceptic, romantic side says, it’s the thought that counts, so who cares if he’s had a bit of help to complete it.
A lot of couples lose sight of the reason they have pencilled a day in the diary to have the biggest blow out party they have ever staged. The flowers, car, venue, photographer and who can forget the dress, it can be so easy to get lost in the material items that disappear without trace after the ‘celebration’.
The time planning your day and talking about the details should be a happy time. Yes, it can get stressful and feel overwhelming, but sticking together and talking through things makes the stress dissipate. If you get to your wedding day, dreading things are going to go wrong – let me put your mind at rest now, something WILL go wrong – you’ll miss this day you have spent your waking life planning.
The sun will rise, the day will begin, and keep going, and no matter what you think, it won’t stop for you to have a stress about whether the colour of the flowers match the tie on the grooms neck. Your guests are there to celebrate with you, that you have taken the next step in your relationship, so why shouldn’t you be doing the same thing?
It might be TV, it might be staged, but on the most basic level DTTB shows that the couple want to be together, and despite all the dramas, tears and tantrums they all walk down the aisle in the end knowing they want to be with each other. So, whatever you think is the most important thing about organising for your day, shouldn’t that be the message you keep in your mind too?
Despite all the fears and anxiety portrayed by the bride, (and yes ladies, it is mostly the bride stressing and weeping) ultimately I have yet to watch an episode where the couple don’t get married. Even with the dubious choices the groom has made, (anyone see Luke theme his wedding on his favourite football team, or Nick choose for his bride her worst night mare, princess Jordan-esque style dress?) the bride always appreciates some of what the groom has gone through to organise the wedding – I won’t go so far as to say they love all of what they have chosen!
Obviously this is for TV, and the sceptic in me says at least parts of it has to have been staged – I love my husband, but if he’d had to organise the whole wedding I’m not sure the finer details would have been high on his list of priorities – but the less sceptic, romantic side says, it’s the thought that counts, so who cares if he’s had a bit of help to complete it.
A lot of couples lose sight of the reason they have pencilled a day in the diary to have the biggest blow out party they have ever staged. The flowers, car, venue, photographer and who can forget the dress, it can be so easy to get lost in the material items that disappear without trace after the ‘celebration’.
The time planning your day and talking about the details should be a happy time. Yes, it can get stressful and feel overwhelming, but sticking together and talking through things makes the stress dissipate. If you get to your wedding day, dreading things are going to go wrong – let me put your mind at rest now, something WILL go wrong – you’ll miss this day you have spent your waking life planning.
The sun will rise, the day will begin, and keep going, and no matter what you think, it won’t stop for you to have a stress about whether the colour of the flowers match the tie on the grooms neck. Your guests are there to celebrate with you, that you have taken the next step in your relationship, so why shouldn’t you be doing the same thing?
It might be TV, it might be staged, but on the most basic level DTTB shows that the couple want to be together, and despite all the dramas, tears and tantrums they all walk down the aisle in the end knowing they want to be with each other. So, whatever you think is the most important thing about organising for your day, shouldn’t that be the message you keep in your mind too?
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Wedding on the cheap?
I’m often asked how you can plan a wedding ‘on the cheap’ and I’m amazed at how many simple ideas people over look in the search of their ‘perfect day’.
You need to prioritise the 5 most important things to you both for your day to be complete – and yes ladies it does have to be 5 things you both agree on - it is his day too whatever you might have thought in your own head. These 5 things will help you to make decisions easier and compromise where necessary.
Something the English aren’t great at (I realise this is an understatement) is negotiating and asking for what we actually want. When was the last time you listened to an American counterpart in a restaurant asking for their salad to be a fat free, meat free, vegan friendly, dressing on the side, dish? Be honest, who’s thinking…just pick the bits out you don’t like…well why should you if you’re paying for it, shouldn’t it be edible when it arrives?
Obviously it’s an extreme comparison, but when you’re spending much more of your hard earned cash, on a ‘perfect day’ as opposed to a ‘perfect salad’ shouldn’t you be getting what you want, rather than paying for something that isn’t quite what you had in mind?
Although you don’t want to appear as the proverbial ‘bull in a china shop’, you need to keep in mind the attitude, ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’. This is your first lesson in planning your wedding, learn to ask for what you want and negotiate if it’s not what you want.
Remember negotiating doesn’t always mean getting things cheaper, but can mean cutting things out, or asking a supplier to include something at no additional cost. Think of it as value for money.
A few key points on when NOT to negotiate…
1. If this is a specialist service where you’re unlikely to find an alternative
2. The most popular venue is not going to negotiate, they have many more couples lining up to take your place
3. If you’re budget and ideas don’t match – don’t haggle for champagne if you can’t afford Asti
And don’t forget, if all else fails…Be prepared to walk away!
So, you have the 5 main priorities, you know what you have in mind, and you have your ‘what not to do’ tips now it’s time to see what’s out there. Don’t go to your favoured supplier first – give some others a call and try to negotiate, and get used to it, then give your preferred supplier a bell.
Finally, always remember…
Way too often couples; and yes ok mostly the ladies, put so much emphasis on the wedding day, they forget they are going into a marriage. Whether you get married in a church, a registry office, beach or hotel the bottom line is that you, the couple have arranged a day to let everyone know how much you love each other, in sickness and in health and from that day forward, forsaking all others.
When put like that, should the emphasis be on how much you’ve spent on x, y, and z, or just that after everyone’s gone home, and your day has come to a close, that you’re happy with the life partner you’ve chosen?
You need to prioritise the 5 most important things to you both for your day to be complete – and yes ladies it does have to be 5 things you both agree on - it is his day too whatever you might have thought in your own head. These 5 things will help you to make decisions easier and compromise where necessary.
Something the English aren’t great at (I realise this is an understatement) is negotiating and asking for what we actually want. When was the last time you listened to an American counterpart in a restaurant asking for their salad to be a fat free, meat free, vegan friendly, dressing on the side, dish? Be honest, who’s thinking…just pick the bits out you don’t like…well why should you if you’re paying for it, shouldn’t it be edible when it arrives?
Obviously it’s an extreme comparison, but when you’re spending much more of your hard earned cash, on a ‘perfect day’ as opposed to a ‘perfect salad’ shouldn’t you be getting what you want, rather than paying for something that isn’t quite what you had in mind?
Although you don’t want to appear as the proverbial ‘bull in a china shop’, you need to keep in mind the attitude, ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’. This is your first lesson in planning your wedding, learn to ask for what you want and negotiate if it’s not what you want.
Remember negotiating doesn’t always mean getting things cheaper, but can mean cutting things out, or asking a supplier to include something at no additional cost. Think of it as value for money.
A few key points on when NOT to negotiate…
1. If this is a specialist service where you’re unlikely to find an alternative
2. The most popular venue is not going to negotiate, they have many more couples lining up to take your place
3. If you’re budget and ideas don’t match – don’t haggle for champagne if you can’t afford Asti
And don’t forget, if all else fails…Be prepared to walk away!
So, you have the 5 main priorities, you know what you have in mind, and you have your ‘what not to do’ tips now it’s time to see what’s out there. Don’t go to your favoured supplier first – give some others a call and try to negotiate, and get used to it, then give your preferred supplier a bell.
Finally, always remember…
Way too often couples; and yes ok mostly the ladies, put so much emphasis on the wedding day, they forget they are going into a marriage. Whether you get married in a church, a registry office, beach or hotel the bottom line is that you, the couple have arranged a day to let everyone know how much you love each other, in sickness and in health and from that day forward, forsaking all others.
When put like that, should the emphasis be on how much you’ve spent on x, y, and z, or just that after everyone’s gone home, and your day has come to a close, that you’re happy with the life partner you’ve chosen?
Monday, 21 December 2009
Weddings By Elaine
I am a wedding planner based in Hertfordshire. I decided to start blogging to share some knowledge and invite you to do the same.
I have a passion for weddings, that probably goes beyond the realms of reasonability…from the whisper of an engagement to the very moment an invite lands through the letterbox (or in more recent times via email!). I love to fantasise about what theme the couple will chose, where it will be held and what personality traits will show through.
I am a romantic and proud of it. I admire couples that can celebrate their 1st, 10th, 50th wedding anniversaries and still look adoringly into each others eyes. I was at a cousin’s wedding last summer and watched as 2 of my aunts and uncles twirled around the dance floor - and yes they did twirl! I was mesmerised and wondered on what their secrets were, being married for 32 and 28 years respectively they have almost certainly been through the mill on various occasions, but they were still standing together.
Married myself 2 years ago in our fantasy wedding, I want to bring that special feeling of having the most amazing start to married life to couples about to take that same journey. And, believe me when I say it is a journey, and not always an easy one…but it’s about how you make it through that’s the important thing.
So, please join me as I share some of my ideas and invite you to do the same…and if you ever want to contact directly just visit my website Weddings By Elaine.
I have a passion for weddings, that probably goes beyond the realms of reasonability…from the whisper of an engagement to the very moment an invite lands through the letterbox (or in more recent times via email!). I love to fantasise about what theme the couple will chose, where it will be held and what personality traits will show through.
I am a romantic and proud of it. I admire couples that can celebrate their 1st, 10th, 50th wedding anniversaries and still look adoringly into each others eyes. I was at a cousin’s wedding last summer and watched as 2 of my aunts and uncles twirled around the dance floor - and yes they did twirl! I was mesmerised and wondered on what their secrets were, being married for 32 and 28 years respectively they have almost certainly been through the mill on various occasions, but they were still standing together.
Married myself 2 years ago in our fantasy wedding, I want to bring that special feeling of having the most amazing start to married life to couples about to take that same journey. And, believe me when I say it is a journey, and not always an easy one…but it’s about how you make it through that’s the important thing.
So, please join me as I share some of my ideas and invite you to do the same…and if you ever want to contact directly just visit my website Weddings By Elaine.
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